Sunday, July 25, 2010
Jim wrote me wondering about age difference. This is the most talked about topic from friends around the world. I shared some thoughts that I hope will offer a little more insight on the subject……. Enjoy!
Hi Bill and Larisa, thanks for your help.
I find Alla to be a beautiful woman. She appears to be a down to earth type person. Does she interest me, yes. Bill my only concern is her age. After reading articles regarding reasonable age differences, I wonder about the age gap of 30 years. I am sure that you and Larisa know far more about Alla than I do. What is your take on the age difference and what does Alla think? I love children, so Alla having 2 children is not a problem for me.
Thanks for the efforts of you and Larisa.
Hi Jim, thanks for writing…..
Age difference is often the first topic that comes up regarding cross cultural relationships. The first rule of thumb is this…. If two people truly love each other, age doesn’t matter. This school of thought is worldwide. That said, age does have a lot to do with many things in our everyday life as a person. It’s my belief that when there’s a great age difference between two people, there are fewer common life experiences to build on together as a loving couple. This could be looked at as a disadvantage towards developing and maintaining a strong lifelong relationship or an opportunity to learn from each others book of life.
It’s common sense that, the younger we are, the less we know. As we all continue to grow through life, we learn from our successes and failures as well as examples set by others. When a man or woman is in their twenties, for most of us, our adult lives are just beginning. For any man or woman from any country to commit to another for the rest of their life will always evoke emotions and feelings never felt before. Trusting these feelings for life will always require a leap of faith that the decision made is the right one.
Once most people get into their late twenties and early thirties, lives priorities begin to change. I think this is true for countries such as America, Great Britain, Canada and more. In Slavic culture, it’s a little different. For women at the age of 25, the road of life gets much more serious. If a Ukrainian woman isn’t in a serious relationship by the time she’s 25, she might be considered an old maid. I can’t tell you why this is true, I can only tell you that I’ve been told this by many women and men of all ages here. It’s always been part of the culture.
Slavic men look at life more seriously towards their late twenties as opposed to their early twenties. This is for several reasons, including the fact that there are more women here than men. For men, theirs no reason to marry early; there are plenty of women to develop a relationship with. For a man, by waiting a little longer, he has time to experience several relationships and have a better chance of finding a lifelong partner.
The average age difference for a man and woman who are in a serious relationship in a cross cultural relationship with a woman from the FSU, is nine years. That said, the older a woman here is, the less importance placed on age difference. Every woman I’ve met here that’s open to a long-term relationship with a man from another country, is more interested in what’s in a mans heart; not his pocketbook. That’s true whether the man comes from Ukraine or any other country in the world.
For any women under the age of 25 to fall in love with a man over the age of 40, the odds are that she will love your money much more than you. It’s probably true with men and women from any country to have this same kind of mindset. My observations are based on my experience with hundreds of people who live in Ukraine as well interaction with clients around the world over the last three years. If a man is serious, knows what he’s doing and has decided to seek a life partner in Ukraine, anything is possible.
While nine years is the average age difference, I truly believe that twenty is the maximum. That said, Larisa and I are nineteen years apart. She’s 37 and I’m 56. We don’t talk about age difference. In fact, three years ago when we met on the Internet, age was never a topic for discussion. Looking back, for both of us, it just seemed natural to want to get to know more about each other without dwelling on our ages. We both agree that we were lucky to have found each other and theirs no question about the chemistry:)
I believe that as a woman from Ukraine approaches the age of 40, there is the increasing likelihood that she isn’t as concerned about age as she is about finding a man to love that’s responsible, honest and loving. I think that any intelligent, honest man should think the same way. Life is an adventure. If you and a woman from Ukraine can find common ground with the magic of chemistry, anything is possible.
(Taken from Bill Greens Weblog: http://billgreen54.wordpress.com/